Instinctual communication within us is instant and extremely fuzzy or gray and the decisions born from our instincts are difficult to bring into the conscious level for review, especially in a potential dating scenario. It is a typical occurrence in a potential love connection situation, for two candidates mutually attracted from afar, across the room for example, to become instantly less attracted upon getting physically closer. This may well be their instincts communicating internally and with each other’s instincts. While, from afar, an instinctual connection of attraction may be established through visual input, up close, additional sensory input to the instinctual level of intelligence may tell a different story. A slight physical deformity, the wrong pitch of voice or a subtle smell can send the instinctual mind into rejection mode with a corresponding hazy rejection memo sent to the other levels of intelligence for consideration and behavioral action.
The physical nature of the brain’s structure probably limits communication flow throughout the mind. Specifically, brain connectivity, compartmentalization, redundancy, and interdependence may play a major role in the ability to receive and process sensory input among and between the various levels of intelligence within the mind. Areas of the Hindbrain, where simple yes/no-instant instinctual decisions of attraction originate, including DNA compatibility, are not directly connected to the frontal lobe via neural pathways. Why or how much is not part of the fuzzy message from the Hindbrain, it is only capable of communicating yes or no. In nature it is difficult to fool instincts, and the yes/no response is typically instant, decisive, and accurate, which is why instincts are so valuable and stand poised to take over our mind in survival situations. As humans, we have developed ingenious methods through conceptual intelligence to fool our potential partner’s instinctual intelligence during a love circumstance. Make-up, hairstyle and coloring, high heels, clothing type and color choices, cosmetic surgeries, etc., are designed to fool the visual instinctual yes/no, while perfume, breath mints, and moisturizing skin lotion represent examples of attempts to fool other instinctual inputs.
The instinctual level of communication plays a critical role in the pair bonding and love relationship formation process and, through this level of intelligence; different chemical hormones affecting behavior are released in both partners, which provide insight into physical attraction and genetic compatibility.
We communicate with each other at the instinctual level of intelligence every day, especially in love circumstances. It can be difficult to isolate pure instinctual communication among humans because we naturally include perception and cognition in almost every complex love situation. In addition, we use our unique consciousness and personal behavioral tendencies in our decision-making process when choosing a love partner. Unlike animals, which are compelled to obey their instincts, we have the ability, upon further analysis to override, ignore or disregard our instinctual yes/no decisions.
For lovers, this phenomenon can play out from first glance to last kiss and can have a dramatic impact on the type of love relationship that develops; harmful, adequate, or true love. Consider the notion that there are several points during the dating and relationship formation process where our instinctual intelligence communicates with that of our partners. First glance always produces an instinctual level of communication through visual input between two potential love candidates. A yes/no decision is then made concerning physical attraction, appearance, and general health. Similarly, throughout the modern dating regiment each new body part, upon visual inspection, is subjected to the yes/no-instinctual decision model, as is each new sound, smell, touch, and taste.
Social circumstances and cultural norms can undermine our instincts and can lead us to ignore the wisdom of their communication. Gold, gospel, and glory has won the favor of many a love partner over instinctual communication. When potential partners ignore negative instinctual communication early on in a relationship, they can set themselves up for catastrophic failure down the road. If a partner is not infatuated early in the relationship, they probably never will be. Changing an initial instinctual decision later, such as the level of attraction is extremely difficult, if not impossible, and chances are, the individual will not become more attractive after the marriage.