The Physical Continuum

In a potential love situation, our instincts first communicate attraction and acceptance to each other.  The real mental hijacker and cause of infatuation, a strong physical or animal attraction is as important as knowing your own mind and expanding your trust level and comfort zone when it comes to establishing the bonds of true love.  The physical continuum is rife with the unbridled release of hormones through our instinctual intelligence and the affect of a strong physical attraction producing this brain chemistry can have a dramatic impact on perceptual and conceptual intelligence during the infatuation phase of a love relationship.  For some lucky enough to walk the path of true love the feel great brain chemicals never stop coming.  Recent breakthroughs in neuroscience have suggested that some couples still respond with as much passion after twenty years together as most people do during the early throes of romance.  Approximately ten percent of these mature couples had the same chemical reactions when shown photographs of their loved ones as those just beginning their relationships.  Previous research, especially on love related brain chemistry, have suggested that the first stages of romantic love or infatuation fade within fifteen months and, after ten years, is gone completely.

For young women and men, instinctual level connections are predicated on transferring the best genes to the next generation and forming several lines of connection under the physical continuum.  Many relationship counselors have adopted the philosophy that love is a choice.  This might be bad counsel because in the instinctual physical realm, there is no choice, you are attracted to your partner or you are not.  For more mature members of the dating pool, beyond the child-rearing years, the rules of physical attraction are the same, albeit individual, but both men and women seem to be more capable of overcoming negative instinctual communication.

Trumping strong physical attraction may lead to a relationship of convenience where needs are traded off between partners but probably not true love.  Buyer beware!  A large percentage of men and women will enter into a long-term relationship in order to fill needs outside the boundaries of physical attraction.  This is not an indictment as they may not realize what they are doing and are typically capable of talking themselves into a nominal and functional level of attraction by conceptually justifying the relationship.

I am always amazed by how many people do just that, ignore their instincts and settle for someone to whom they are not strongly attracted in order to satiate other needs.  The resulting relationship trap can have a dramatic negative effect on both partners.  You have likely spotted people who employ relationship traps.  They key is to listen to the first phrase they use to describe a new dating partner.  If you hear any of the following first:  “he is really funny,” “she is very nice,” “he has a great job,” “she is extremely smart,” or similar statements, the person talking is probably not headed for the 97th percentile.  If you find yourself using these comments first to describe your new gal or guy, RUN!  Conversely, if the first thing that comes to mind when describing your new lover include  “I’ve fallen hard,” “she’s smoking,” “he’s so sexy,” “I can’t take my eyes off her,” or the similar, then you have probably met a key criteria for finding true love, strong physical attraction.

Instinctual Communication revolves around the level of physical and sexual attraction we have for a current or potential love partner and how we send and receive messages about that attraction.  Gauging the signals of physical attraction through instinctual communication is easier during the infatuation phase of a relationship.  However, it can be quite tricky in a long-term relationship because in adequate or harmful relationships, our level of attraction ebbs and flows with the emotional flavor or intellectual argument of the day.  The most important connecting lines under the physical continuum of connection include:  Instinctual Communication, Looks, Appearance, Hygiene, Touch, Smell, Taste, Voice, Movement, Affection, and Sex.